I'm a Ninja

I think I am a pretty amazing person, personally. See, right there. That was called alliteration. Person, personally. I just have a way with words. I won an award for my description techniques, for crying out loud!

See that? Metaphor. I did not actually cry out loud, but you got my point. That's how epic I am.

Not only that, but I am a ninja. Want proof? When Mrs. Hyde told us to post a comment on her blog about what to change about the course, and I posted my comment at 9:34 am! The assignment was set at 12:15! That's how epic I am.

In all seriousness though, I think I should get an honourary award just for how much I have improved over the years. I have much better work habits and in general, the quality of my work has improved immensely.

I'm just that epic.

Still Six Feet Over ... Hopefully.

What am I going to do when one day I look in the mirror and see myself as an 85 year-old? What will it be like to be nearly unrecognizable with wrinkly skin and grey/white hair? What will I do? Where will I be?

This is my prediction.

I would like to think I would be healthy, but probably the only thing I will have going for me is...

I was going to say my strong bones because I drink so much milk, but then I remembered the fact that I've broken my ankle twice despite my addiction to milk. So I really wont have anything going for me.

I'm already crazy, so my mind will only deteriorate with age. I am going to be mental. I am going to talk to pillows, and my left index finger will be my best friend. I'll probably be in a nursing home by the age of sixty-five. But hey, aren't all the most mental writers considered geniuses?

I'll probably be alone, because knowing me I wont be able to find a decent enough guy to ever marry (I'm picky) but on the off chance I do, he'll probably be just as mental as I am.

I'm not going to be able to move without hurting myself. At 15 I injured myself just by walking down the street, and I have horrible knees. In other words, I'm doomed.

As I'm writing this I'm getting increasingly more depressed, and I'm kind of hoping I die before I turn fifty. Great, I'm going to be a bitter old person too.

Excuse me while I go cry and then do my bucket list while I still have the body and mental capacity to do so.

Band on the Run

Here is a poem I wrote just from words that I found whilst roaming around in the hallways of my school =)

"Band on the Run"

50 cents only

Electronics

Smoking

Fire

Geo tech lab

Counter Clockwise

This is looking at my life, backwards. It's where I am now, and what happened to get me here, in 10 steps.

10. Planning to go to Brock University for Dramatic Arts and English

9. Decided to be a Drama teacher

8. Found out I enjoyed teaching from Co-op

7. Took Co-op because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life

6. Figured I had no skills or aspirations

5. Went through most of school with low self-confidence

4. Found out about certian disabilities I had

3. Tended to zone out in class

2. Was a very imaginative child

1. My mother and father loved each other very much...

The Encounter

During a school trip, I was strolling along the fence of Area 51 after straying away from the tour group to have my own look around. We weren't allowed to go into the place, but the tour bus has brought us pretty close. The mid-afternoon sun was beating down on me as I looked through the fence at the highly secured area. There were guards stationed all over the place, and I wondered just how I would be able to get a glimpse of the secrets the building held. I had heard the stories; aliens, monsters, experiments, etc. I was curious, and I was determined to find out for myself if the rumours were true.

The guards did not seem to notice me yet. I had chosen my clothes well. I wore an orange t-shirt and light brown shorts. I blended in with the desert background, but I still felt it weird that the guards paid little to no attention to me. I continued along the fence, weighing my options.

That’s when I saw it. There was a break in the fence, a careless mistake made by maintenance no doubt. A small, smug smile spread across my face. I could go to jail, I knew this. Luckily, I had been acting feverish all day, so I could just pretend I had become delusional in the desert if I happened to be caught. I took a small step into the grounds of Area 51. I braced myself. Nothing happened. No sirens or gun fires were heard as I continued into the area. It was so far going flawlessly.

I went into stealth mode, ducking behind crates and smaller buildings as I went along. I crouched behind a steel pole and looked at my watch. Half an hour until we were all expected to be back at the bus. Then we were going to go to Jack Astors, so I had to act fast. I got ready to dart passed the next security in to the next cover, when I froze. Two guards were coming my way. I held my breath and manoeuvred around the pole so that I would be hidden from their sights. They stepped closer, and I could hear their conversation.

“Is the prisoner secure?” The tall, dark one asked.

“Yes, I believe so. He has been giving us troubles and already a few agents have been thrown out of commission by his antics. All guards should be alert.” The short, bald one warned.

“Roger. If this prisoner was to escape, it would be disastrous…” I heard the tall one mutter as they walked by. I managed not to be seen, but now I knew why all the guards seemed so distracted. A dangerous prisoner was being held here? Was this some sort of high security prison? I gulped and thought about turning back. No, I had gotten this far, might as well keep going. I darted to my next cover, in front of one of the back doors. I waited. Two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes… fifteen minutes until I had to get back to the bus. Finally, my waiting paid off. A guard stepped through the door into the outside. I acted quickly, diving through the door behind his back. I was in.

I looked down the dirty, stone halls. Rusted pipes lined the walls, and there was minimal lighting. Not what I had expected for a supposedly high-tech facility. I began wander down the dark corridor, keeping the look out for guards and secrets. When I got to the end of the hall, there was an elevator. I pushed the button and walked inside. The buttons were labeled 1 B1, B2, B3. I decided to press B3, because that must be where the most secretive stuff were held.

The elevator moved slowly, hauntingly. I felt myself shake as I became nervous and anxious of what I was doing.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The elevator stopped! Everything seemed to go red as the loud siren went off. I looked around in a panic, trying to find the source. Then I saw it, up in the corner of the elevator was a security camera. They must have seen me!

I acted fast, climbing up and crawling through the duct at the top of the elevator. There was an opening to another floor right above me, so I jumped. When I climbed onto the floor, I noticed it looked much more high-tech, like I expected. No time to marvel at the silicon halls though, as I began to run.

"Prisoner escape! This is a code 81-17! This is not a drill!" An intercom voice shouted. Prisoner escape? I thought to myself, maybe this wasn't about me after all. Regardless, I have to get out of here, now! That's when I heard it. As I ran down the hallways, the soft sound fluttered to my ears.

"I love you... You love me..."

I pondered a minute at the familiarity of the sound, but I kept going. There just had to be a way out! I turned a corner. Another corner. Another-

CRASH!

I went flying. Purple filled my eyes when I looked up, and saw a dinosaur. "Hello, everyone!" It said.

"No, stay away!" I yelled. I sprung up and ran the other way. By the sound of the heavy footsteps behind me, it was not listening to my suggestion.

"Let's play a game!" It shouted.

"No, thanks!" I yelled back, panicked.

"All you need is a little imagination!"

"AHHHHHHH!" I opened a door, and the light of the outside shone down on me. I ran across the area with the purple dinosaur right on my heels. I looked up to see guards running right at me. This was it, my life was over. The guards dove, I cringed - and they passed right by me. A crash sounded, and I turned around to find the guards on the ground, with the dinosaur underneath. One guard, who looked like a captain, stuck a syringe into the beast, and the struggling stopped. He sighed, got up, and walked over to me.

"Thank you for distracting old Barney here. We never would have caught him otherwise. You see, he went a little crazy when his show was cancelled... Anyway, the government owes you." The captain said.

"Oh, it was no trouble at all, sir." I gave him a sweet smile. He didn't even question why I was here in the first place. Score! I turned and began to walk away.

"Oh, it is vital that you do not tell any body about this. Do you understand?" He shouted. I nodded back at him, and continued to the bus. Two minutes before departure. I sighed, I had never found out the true nature of Area 51, but I had no trouble with not telling anyone about my experience there. Who would believe me, anyway?

S'not fun

I'm small, soft and fluffy. You'd think people would treat me like a puppy, right? Wrong. First off, I'm stuck in a small, compact box. That's not so bad, having my friends stuck in there with me. Then it gets terrifying, as my friends are snatched from the ceiling of the box, one by one. A retched growling sound is heard, and that friend is never heard from again.

Each day I got closer and closer to the surface. It seemed to go even faster in the winter and spring. Finally, I broke through the surface. I watched as my delicate body was snatched from the box. They were crude, who would just blow their nose in it. Or in this case, me. I'll admit, I am very nosy, but this is just ridiculous. After I'm done being logged with slime (which is not only gross, I could get sick!) I just get tossed aside into another smelly box. Oh no that's fine, just unclog your sinuses with your body and not even thank me or apologize!

Now, what's next for me? At least I'm here in this smell tin can with my long lost friends. I'm pretty sure we're going to a place called the dump. That sounds like something my cousin toilet paper would have to deal with. At the dump, we're all going to just lie there with our bacteria filled mucus. Such is the life of a tissue, I guess.

20 Minute Double Vision

This is a story I had 20 minutes to write. Enjoy!



You would never have guessed what happend. I went to the mall the other day, and "I decided to do some shopping at Bath & Body Works. Smelling nice is always a staple. So, I walk in and check out my reflection to see how my hair was holding up. I looked closely at my wide-eyed face, then reached toward my hair. I was shocked when the mirror did not mimic my movement. Ringing started to fill my ears, and I made a waving motion with my hands. My confused-looking image waved back, but it was a bit delayed. It was like a weird photograph from Harry Potter.

Suddenly, someone from behind me said, "Would you two like anything today?" I turned around, confused about what two she was talking about. I pulled out my iPod head phones so that I could hear her better. "My, how does your mother tell you apart? " she continued. I turned back to my confused expression, and was shocked as it started to say something.

"What's going on?" It asked. I gaped and the sales woman raised an eyebrow. She left to go fix a fallen sign and I just continued gaping.

"You're not a mirror, are you?" I asked. She stared back at me like an agressive cat. "why are you looking at me like that? What are you?" I stared. She glared.

"This is some cheap trick, isn't it?" she glowered. At this point, I noticed her clothes. They were different from mine, with a navy blue top.

"I am just going to leave now and pretend this never happened." I mumbled. Then I left. I decided my nerves needed calming, so I went to Kernels. apparently the look-alike had the same idea, for she was also in line when I got there.

"Why are you here?" she moaned. I looked at my shoes awkwardly.

"This isn't a trick. I think we have a lot to talk about. Let's go to Mcdonalds." I suggested. She agreed and together we walked toward the restaurant.

As we ate our Big Macs, we discussed. Turns out, we have no family connections, we just happen to look a lot alike. She's really nice, plus she's good looking! Ha, ha! We are now good friends. And I swear to you, that is exactly how it all went down.